Memories ;;
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
The following post was written more than a year ago, which I found in my (rather empty) livejournal blog, and I've decided to post it here.
___
So this is me.
And my story. My love story that doesn't really have an ending.
It's just left with a whole lot of stupid questions.
I'm going to set this whole fucking record straight.
I first met Kenneth in piano class. I was in Grade 5, recently joining back the class after a year and a half absence.
He was short, 158cm ... a fact I found out after we got together. He was short, he had nice, wispy hair, he wore glasses at first and he got contacts later on, he was cute and I liked him on sight. He was cool, he was classy, he had a nice smile and a hot voice. Witty comebacks, and a sort of sarcastic sense of humour...
I was thirteen when I met him.
He ...
I don't know what he saw in me. Till now, I don't know if he ever loved me. We were thirteen. How, would we know about love?
We never held hands, we never went out together. I was a girl who was so paranoid about getting caught by my parents. I was a girl, who, blossomed so lately and so ugly because I never thought being pretty was what guys liked. I was so overprotected by my parents that now, at the age of eighteen and finally having freedom, I can't wait to taste more.
I love my parents, I really do, but they're so old fashioned I want to cry sometimes.
We were together for a month and fourteen days. During that time we never said I love you, we never said I miss you, I watched him play the piano and he watched me play the piano and yeah, I was happy. I was. The relationship was going nowhere but I supposed, at that time, in my puny thirteen year old brain, I was in love.
The reason we broke up was because he was a Christian and I was a Buddhist.
I ... I don't know. I was born a Buddhist. He was born a Christian. Didn't he know that when we got together? Why spring it on me then? Why not just - just not get together in the first place?
I let him go. He wouldn't take me back anyway.
I ruined my first love. First loves were supposed to be magical, supposed to take your breath away, supposed to be so awe-inspiring and so ... full of love.
I think I've never been the same since. I think he's the cause of it all - yet I'm to blame as well for foolishly seeking out a relationship because it was right, because it felt right.
The day I stopped talking to K was the day he told me that I was a nuisance. He didn't actually say that, he said "Yeah, I'm not your psychologist, okay? I don't want to hear whatever kind of problems you have."
In that, he pretty much stated I was an annoying friend who came to him whenever there's a problem.
I took the hint. I wasn't wanted.
He never -
I ... I think I still hate him, after all this time.
And then I met Ben.
I think I still love him. I don't know. I don't know and it hurts. I'm hurting so bad now I'm crying. It just sucks so badly. I'm not supposed to love him because loving him fucking SUCKS.
I was wrong. I shouldn't have crashed into a relationship right after Kenneth. But I did.
Ben loved me. I think he still does. I don't know I don't want to know but fuck it.
He was probably the sweetest boyfriend I've ever had. We were together for a month until I broke it off. I said I still loved Kenneth.
I broke his heart, I know. I broke all his dreams that involved me and I broke them and shattered them into a million tiny pieces and now, when he's happily moved on, now I face the karma.
We ... got back together again a year after that (this was after yet another crash relationship with a guy named Dat Han, which lasted 6 months).
We broke up again when he chose his best friend over me.
We got back together again, in secret, two months after that. He was crushing after another girl. Yet he still asked me ... I questioned about the girl, his reply was, "So what? I picked you. That's the difference between you and her."
Two weeks later, we broke up again. Said his heart was torn in two. (so much for picking me)
We still texted each other, talked on msn and had long late night conversations on the phone.
...
He got together with a girl, we'll call her C. They were together for a year.
Halfway into their relationship, he told me he still loved me. We were on the phone at about 2 in the morning ... there was a discussion of some sort and at one point he said, "What's wrong with you? I mean, you're already my unofficial girlfriend..."
I hung up on him. He apologized, but I don't think I ever got over that.
His problems with his girlfriend grew. I was there for him on and off, I don't remember, I remember trying to cut off contact at one point, I don't think it lasted, I totally don't recall.
I -
When they broke up, I was already in Canada. I'd already met some guys and was crushing on them, but the thought of going back to him made me giddy with delight. I toyed with the possibility, I voiced it out to him.
He was toying with the possibility too.
Then a month before I came back... he announced that he wasn't single anymore.
He was with my friend, Mei.
I knew he thought she was pretty. Referred to her as eye candy.
But he told me he wasn't going to go after her.
He never said he'd wait for me, I know that. I assumed all along. I was so crushed when I heard. But it's partly my fault too. He said I had other guys in Canada that I liked. He referred to my 'track record'. I was so ashamed when I heard him say that, it was such a hurtful (and totally true) thing to say.
Then...
Then when I came back, I saw them together, I was happy for them, somewhat. I was still a little jealous. But I lose hands down. My friend - she's beautiful. So beautiful it hurts. There isn't a single guy I know who would never consider dating her.
Then -
He said he loved me still.
He said she knew as well...
"I love you, she knows I love you, she knows I love her too! Why can't you accept that? Why can't you accept this?"
I - aren't relationships supposed to be two-way? Why would I dream of sharing my man with another girl, a girl I consider far prettier than me? How could I survive on only half of the love I was supposed to receive?
If only LJ could record tears -
Here's the thing -
We still continued talking... late on the phone, texting, msn. I don't know if she knew about this.
I cut off contact with him and my friend in April this year. I think they're happy.
I guess it's really time to move on, but really, I'm such a dumbass.
Today, I hacked into his blog. It's amazing. He changed his password, but I still managed to guess it right. Stalkerish, I know. But still.
Today, I read all his posts which I never read when I cut off contact with him.
Today, I discovered that I'd been totally written out off his life.
And I feel -
So miserable.
- 23/July/2008
This was me more than a year ago, 2 months before I met Tim. This was my life before Tim, and I can't really remember how it all felt. I guess when you're wallowing in self-depression, all other happiness seems unattainable. Also, emo post is emo... lol~
I've edited a few parts out so that it's suitable for this blog... because I know some people are still gonna read it anyway, and there are certain very private parts which are gonna suck balls if anyone else should read them.
Then why post, you ask?
I'm setting the record straight. This was what happened, my version of events, and while it LOOKS like I'm blaming certain people, remember that it was written during a time when I was loveless and hopeless.
Myehhhhhh~
And this is probably the last post you'll ever see on this blog! Nyahaha.
|
___
So this is me.
And my story. My love story that doesn't really have an ending.
It's just left with a whole lot of stupid questions.
I'm going to set this whole fucking record straight.
I first met Kenneth in piano class. I was in Grade 5, recently joining back the class after a year and a half absence.
He was short, 158cm ... a fact I found out after we got together. He was short, he had nice, wispy hair, he wore glasses at first and he got contacts later on, he was cute and I liked him on sight. He was cool, he was classy, he had a nice smile and a hot voice. Witty comebacks, and a sort of sarcastic sense of humour...
I was thirteen when I met him.
He ...
I don't know what he saw in me. Till now, I don't know if he ever loved me. We were thirteen. How, would we know about love?
We never held hands, we never went out together. I was a girl who was so paranoid about getting caught by my parents. I was a girl, who, blossomed so lately and so ugly because I never thought being pretty was what guys liked. I was so overprotected by my parents that now, at the age of eighteen and finally having freedom, I can't wait to taste more.
I love my parents, I really do, but they're so old fashioned I want to cry sometimes.
We were together for a month and fourteen days. During that time we never said I love you, we never said I miss you, I watched him play the piano and he watched me play the piano and yeah, I was happy. I was. The relationship was going nowhere but I supposed, at that time, in my puny thirteen year old brain, I was in love.
The reason we broke up was because he was a Christian and I was a Buddhist.
I ... I don't know. I was born a Buddhist. He was born a Christian. Didn't he know that when we got together? Why spring it on me then? Why not just - just not get together in the first place?
I let him go. He wouldn't take me back anyway.
I ruined my first love. First loves were supposed to be magical, supposed to take your breath away, supposed to be so awe-inspiring and so ... full of love.
I think I've never been the same since. I think he's the cause of it all - yet I'm to blame as well for foolishly seeking out a relationship because it was right, because it felt right.
The day I stopped talking to K was the day he told me that I was a nuisance. He didn't actually say that, he said "Yeah, I'm not your psychologist, okay? I don't want to hear whatever kind of problems you have."
In that, he pretty much stated I was an annoying friend who came to him whenever there's a problem.
I took the hint. I wasn't wanted.
He never -
I ... I think I still hate him, after all this time.
And then I met Ben.
I think I still love him. I don't know. I don't know and it hurts. I'm hurting so bad now I'm crying. It just sucks so badly. I'm not supposed to love him because loving him fucking SUCKS.
I was wrong. I shouldn't have crashed into a relationship right after Kenneth. But I did.
Ben loved me. I think he still does. I don't know I don't want to know but fuck it.
He was probably the sweetest boyfriend I've ever had. We were together for a month until I broke it off. I said I still loved Kenneth.
I broke his heart, I know. I broke all his dreams that involved me and I broke them and shattered them into a million tiny pieces and now, when he's happily moved on, now I face the karma.
We ... got back together again a year after that (this was after yet another crash relationship with a guy named Dat Han, which lasted 6 months).
We broke up again when he chose his best friend over me.
We got back together again, in secret, two months after that. He was crushing after another girl. Yet he still asked me ... I questioned about the girl, his reply was, "So what? I picked you. That's the difference between you and her."
Two weeks later, we broke up again. Said his heart was torn in two. (so much for picking me)
We still texted each other, talked on msn and had long late night conversations on the phone.
...
He got together with a girl, we'll call her C. They were together for a year.
Halfway into their relationship, he told me he still loved me. We were on the phone at about 2 in the morning ... there was a discussion of some sort and at one point he said, "What's wrong with you? I mean, you're already my unofficial girlfriend..."
I hung up on him. He apologized, but I don't think I ever got over that.
His problems with his girlfriend grew. I was there for him on and off, I don't remember, I remember trying to cut off contact at one point, I don't think it lasted, I totally don't recall.
I -
When they broke up, I was already in Canada. I'd already met some guys and was crushing on them, but the thought of going back to him made me giddy with delight. I toyed with the possibility, I voiced it out to him.
He was toying with the possibility too.
Then a month before I came back... he announced that he wasn't single anymore.
He was with my friend, Mei.
I knew he thought she was pretty. Referred to her as eye candy.
But he told me he wasn't going to go after her.
He never said he'd wait for me, I know that. I assumed all along. I was so crushed when I heard. But it's partly my fault too. He said I had other guys in Canada that I liked. He referred to my 'track record'. I was so ashamed when I heard him say that, it was such a hurtful (and totally true) thing to say.
Then...
Then when I came back, I saw them together, I was happy for them, somewhat. I was still a little jealous. But I lose hands down. My friend - she's beautiful. So beautiful it hurts. There isn't a single guy I know who would never consider dating her.
Then -
He said he loved me still.
He said she knew as well...
"I love you, she knows I love you, she knows I love her too! Why can't you accept that? Why can't you accept this?"
I - aren't relationships supposed to be two-way? Why would I dream of sharing my man with another girl, a girl I consider far prettier than me? How could I survive on only half of the love I was supposed to receive?
If only LJ could record tears -
Here's the thing -
We still continued talking... late on the phone, texting, msn. I don't know if she knew about this.
I cut off contact with him and my friend in April this year. I think they're happy.
I guess it's really time to move on, but really, I'm such a dumbass.
Today, I hacked into his blog. It's amazing. He changed his password, but I still managed to guess it right. Stalkerish, I know. But still.
Today, I read all his posts which I never read when I cut off contact with him.
Today, I discovered that I'd been totally written out off his life.
And I feel -
So miserable.
- 23/July/2008
This was me more than a year ago, 2 months before I met Tim. This was my life before Tim, and I can't really remember how it all felt. I guess when you're wallowing in self-depression, all other happiness seems unattainable. Also, emo post is emo... lol~
I've edited a few parts out so that it's suitable for this blog... because I know some people are still gonna read it anyway, and there are certain very private parts which are gonna suck balls if anyone else should read them.
Then why post, you ask?
I'm setting the record straight. This was what happened, my version of events, and while it LOOKS like I'm blaming certain people, remember that it was written during a time when I was loveless and hopeless.
Myehhhhhh~
And this is probably the last post you'll ever see on this blog! Nyahaha.
11:34 AM
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
to various friends who actually read this piece of shit : -
I have moved. You can't just delete something like this off your memory, so I'm just going to save the hassle and start a new blog (the old one remains here, untouched, free for everyone to read and judge but it's just going to serve as a reminder of what I used to be), ask me directly and I'll let you know the blog address.
to the people whom i'm not on friendly terms with and yet know this blog : -
Thank you for keeping silent -- or perhaps you did no such thing, but I can't really blame you for I do that too. I don't think you'll find me again anywhere on the net.
to the lot of you : -
fuck the hell off.
|
I have moved. You can't just delete something like this off your memory, so I'm just going to save the hassle and start a new blog (the old one remains here, untouched, free for everyone to read and judge but it's just going to serve as a reminder of what I used to be), ask me directly and I'll let you know the blog address.
to the people whom i'm not on friendly terms with and yet know this blog : -
Thank you for keeping silent -- or perhaps you did no such thing, but I can't really blame you for I do that too. I don't think you'll find me again anywhere on the net.
to the lot of you : -
fuck the hell off.
12:06 PM
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Someone has been reading my blog.
Someone from my stupid, idiotic past, someone I never want to see ever again in my life.
I only have a guess as to who this person is, but really.
"hmm...i don't think it's very nice calling somebody you don't know an ass. that's just too judgmental. neither is it very nice rejoicing over someone's loss."
I guess you're right... I shouldn't call somebody I don't know an ass... but you assume that I 'don't know' this person, in which case, you are wrong. I might not know my stupid ex very well but based on what he's done to me, I can and will call him an ass, and while it may not be very nice to do that, or to rejoice over someone's loss, I'm not a very nice person either.
|
Someone from my stupid, idiotic past, someone I never want to see ever again in my life.
I only have a guess as to who this person is, but really.
"hmm...i don't think it's very nice calling somebody you don't know an ass. that's just too judgmental. neither is it very nice rejoicing over someone's loss."
I guess you're right... I shouldn't call somebody I don't know an ass... but you assume that I 'don't know' this person, in which case, you are wrong. I might not know my stupid ex very well but based on what he's done to me, I can and will call him an ass, and while it may not be very nice to do that, or to rejoice over someone's loss, I'm not a very nice person either.
4:32 AM
Saturday, August 22, 2009
In regards to the previous post, everything is fine now.
One thing I love most about Tim ... when he comes online and I am online, the first thing he does is to greet me.
With Kenneth it was insanely horrible, he would get pissed off when I messaged him too much.
With Ben he would grow more and more distant the more I demanded to know why he wouldn't reply my messages.
With Dat Han he was mostly on RO or whatever game it is he plays all the time.
Restaurant City is ADDICTIVE. ARRRRRRR I LVOE IT SO MUCH :D
Competition is in 7 days and fuck I am NOT nervous. This is disturbing. And also worrying. Really, shouldn't I be worried more about this?
Also, the words are not coming. They are stuck in my brain slide. Wee~
|
One thing I love most about Tim ... when he comes online and I am online, the first thing he does is to greet me.
With Kenneth it was insanely horrible, he would get pissed off when I messaged him too much.
With Ben he would grow more and more distant the more I demanded to know why he wouldn't reply my messages.
With Dat Han he was mostly on RO or whatever game it is he plays all the time.
Restaurant City is ADDICTIVE. ARRRRRRR I LVOE IT SO MUCH :D
Competition is in 7 days and fuck I am NOT nervous. This is disturbing. And also worrying. Really, shouldn't I be worried more about this?
Also, the words are not coming. They are stuck in my brain slide. Wee~
2:15 AM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
So you know, when you make an honest mistake; I'm prepared to forgive you based on the following things:-
1) how STUPID you were in the situation
2) how IMPORTANT the situation is
3) how CLOSE you are to me as a friend/family member.
So you can imagine, my utter dismay, when I have been shunned by such a friend who does not consider the above 3 at all, but merely such that I have broken his trust. And I didn't even do it knowingly --- nor intentionally; hence the term honest mistake. Not that an honest mistake should therefore be overlooked and pardoned easily; but that it is totally different and unrelated to an intentional-mistake-that-would-cause-you-such-misery-and-yes-i-planned-it-that-way-moron.
You're never going to read this blog, or maybe you will, based on your stalker capabilities, but really? Really? I knew you had trust issues but to this extent?
I don't really know what you want, it seems that no amount of begging would change your mind (of course, once your trust is broken you don't really care how or why or who, don't you, all you're thinking about is only yourself, and yes, you are truly alone in this world, because pretty much when it comes to your feelings and the things you say it's mostly entirely up to you and only for you and don't you realize what a tyrant you are?) so I'm not going to beg. I've said sorry more than once, more than twice, less than a million but I bet it makes no difference to you. Never mind that you're lumping me in the same category with that stupid guy who backstabbed you in front of your whole crowd of friends, TRUST BROKEN, in big capital letters in your head, never mind that I have never ever betrayed your secrets in the umpteenth years that I've known you, if you really want to throw it all away just because I wasn't thinking, which is something YOU do as well, fine. Just fine.
You don't trust me anymore, I accept that. I don't really expect you to anyway. But I'll be damned if I'm going to be painted as THE BAD GUY here. It's my fault yes, but as far as I'm concerned, when things happen in the space of 3 seconds and you don't even realize that you're NOT thinking, that's no reason to throw away friendship. Sure ignorance is the most lethal cause of all indirect calamities, but if you're going to cut ties with the ONE person who listens to you, and stands up for you, and advises you on everything from girls to jewellery to bra sizes and music, just because of this one honest mistake... well then fuck you. I didn't sign up for this, I guess I should have known that you were the kind of person who could never forgive a single careless mistake.
|
1) how STUPID you were in the situation
2) how IMPORTANT the situation is
3) how CLOSE you are to me as a friend/family member.
So you can imagine, my utter dismay, when I have been shunned by such a friend who does not consider the above 3 at all, but merely such that I have broken his trust. And I didn't even do it knowingly --- nor intentionally; hence the term honest mistake. Not that an honest mistake should therefore be overlooked and pardoned easily; but that it is totally different and unrelated to an intentional-mistake-that-would-cause-you-such-misery-and-yes-i-planned-it-that-way-moron.
You're never going to read this blog, or maybe you will, based on your stalker capabilities, but really? Really? I knew you had trust issues but to this extent?
I don't really know what you want, it seems that no amount of begging would change your mind (of course, once your trust is broken you don't really care how or why or who, don't you, all you're thinking about is only yourself, and yes, you are truly alone in this world, because pretty much when it comes to your feelings and the things you say it's mostly entirely up to you and only for you and don't you realize what a tyrant you are?) so I'm not going to beg. I've said sorry more than once, more than twice, less than a million but I bet it makes no difference to you. Never mind that you're lumping me in the same category with that stupid guy who backstabbed you in front of your whole crowd of friends, TRUST BROKEN, in big capital letters in your head, never mind that I have never ever betrayed your secrets in the umpteenth years that I've known you, if you really want to throw it all away just because I wasn't thinking, which is something YOU do as well, fine. Just fine.
You don't trust me anymore, I accept that. I don't really expect you to anyway. But I'll be damned if I'm going to be painted as THE BAD GUY here. It's my fault yes, but as far as I'm concerned, when things happen in the space of 3 seconds and you don't even realize that you're NOT thinking, that's no reason to throw away friendship. Sure ignorance is the most lethal cause of all indirect calamities, but if you're going to cut ties with the ONE person who listens to you, and stands up for you, and advises you on everything from girls to jewellery to bra sizes and music, just because of this one honest mistake... well then fuck you. I didn't sign up for this, I guess I should have known that you were the kind of person who could never forgive a single careless mistake.
9:44 AM
So you know, when you make an honest mistake; I'm prepared to forgive you based on the following things:-
1) how STUPID you were in the situation
2) how IMPORTANT the situation is
3) how CLOSE you are to me as a friend/family member.
So you can imagine, my utter dismay, when I have been shunned by such a friend who does not consider the above 3 at all, but merely such that I have broken his trust. And I didn't even do it knowingly --- nor intentionally; hence the term honest mistake. Not that an honest mistake should therefore be overlooked and pardoned easily; but that it is totally different and unrelated to an intentional-mistake-that-would-cause-you-such-misery-and-yes-i-planned-it-that-way-moron.
You're never going to read this blog, or maybe you will, based on your stalker capabilities, but really? Really? I knew you had trust issues but to this extent?
I don't really know what you want, it seems that no amount of begging would change your mind (of course, once your trust is broken you don't really care how or why or who, don't you, all you're thinking about is only yourself, and yes, you are truly alone in this world, because pretty much when it comes to your feelings and the things you say it's mostly entirely up to you and only for you and don't you realize what a tyrant you are?) so I'm not going to beg. I've said sorry more than once, more than twice, less than a million but I bet it makes no difference to you. Never mind that you're lumping me in the same category with that stupid guy who backstabbed you in front of your whole crowd of friends, TRUST BROKEN, in big capital letters in your head, never mind that I have never ever betrayed your secrets in the umpteenth years that I've known you, if you really want to throw it all away just because I wasn't thinking, which is something YOU do as well, fine. Just fine.
You don't trust me anymore, I accept that. I don't really expect you to anyway. But I'll be damned if I'm going to be painted as THE BAD GUY here. It's my fault yes, but as far as I'm concerned, when things happen in the space of 3 seconds and you don't even realize that you're NOT thinking, that's no reason to throw away friendship. Sure ignorance is the most lethal cause of all indirect calamities, but if you're going to cut ties with the ONE person who listens to you, and stands up for you, and advises you on everything from girls to jewellery to bra sizes and music, just because of this one honest mistake... well then fuck you. I didn't sign up for this, I guess I should have known that you were the kind of person who could never forgive a single careless mistake.
|
1) how STUPID you were in the situation
2) how IMPORTANT the situation is
3) how CLOSE you are to me as a friend/family member.
So you can imagine, my utter dismay, when I have been shunned by such a friend who does not consider the above 3 at all, but merely such that I have broken his trust. And I didn't even do it knowingly --- nor intentionally; hence the term honest mistake. Not that an honest mistake should therefore be overlooked and pardoned easily; but that it is totally different and unrelated to an intentional-mistake-that-would-cause-you-such-misery-and-yes-i-planned-it-that-way-moron.
You're never going to read this blog, or maybe you will, based on your stalker capabilities, but really? Really? I knew you had trust issues but to this extent?
I don't really know what you want, it seems that no amount of begging would change your mind (of course, once your trust is broken you don't really care how or why or who, don't you, all you're thinking about is only yourself, and yes, you are truly alone in this world, because pretty much when it comes to your feelings and the things you say it's mostly entirely up to you and only for you and don't you realize what a tyrant you are?) so I'm not going to beg. I've said sorry more than once, more than twice, less than a million but I bet it makes no difference to you. Never mind that you're lumping me in the same category with that stupid guy who backstabbed you in front of your whole crowd of friends, TRUST BROKEN, in big capital letters in your head, never mind that I have never ever betrayed your secrets in the umpteenth years that I've known you, if you really want to throw it all away just because I wasn't thinking, which is something YOU do as well, fine. Just fine.
You don't trust me anymore, I accept that. I don't really expect you to anyway. But I'll be damned if I'm going to be painted as THE BAD GUY here. It's my fault yes, but as far as I'm concerned, when things happen in the space of 3 seconds and you don't even realize that you're NOT thinking, that's no reason to throw away friendship. Sure ignorance is the most lethal cause of all indirect calamities, but if you're going to cut ties with the ONE person who listens to you, and stands up for you, and advises you on everything from girls to jewellery to bra sizes and music, just because of this one honest mistake... well then fuck you. I didn't sign up for this, I guess I should have known that you were the kind of person who could never forgive a single careless mistake.
9:13 AM
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
So...
Epic PHAIL just now at my house, intro-ing the Game of Things to Andrew, Loong and Zhen Chien... I guess the responses by these people just weren't funny enough, but the game just didn't appeal to Andrew and the rest at all, except me and Jun Xuen. I thought it would be loads of fun because of Andrew's snarky and witty humour so maybe the cards are to blame? Lol. Nah, he did say this sort of thing is only interesting to people like Clement, lol.
Meh, before that badminton was fun though.
So headaches are like, the most annoying thing in the world, and I think I'm really lacking of sleep because the clubbing going on in my brain is really too much...
Which is why this blog post is going to be super short, kthxbai
|
Epic PHAIL just now at my house, intro-ing the Game of Things to Andrew, Loong and Zhen Chien... I guess the responses by these people just weren't funny enough, but the game just didn't appeal to Andrew and the rest at all, except me and Jun Xuen. I thought it would be loads of fun because of Andrew's snarky and witty humour so maybe the cards are to blame? Lol. Nah, he did say this sort of thing is only interesting to people like Clement, lol.
Meh, before that badminton was fun though.
So headaches are like, the most annoying thing in the world, and I think I'm really lacking of sleep because the clubbing going on in my brain is really too much...
Which is why this blog post is going to be super short, kthxbai
6:25 AM
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
So when you add me as a friend on Facebook, I really stop to wonder how you can actually consider me as one when first of all, you barely say hi to me in school, much less in real life (because counting school as real life is just plain bollocks, to be English about it) and secondly, you just... you just sort of don't know that you are exactly the kind of person I would never hang out with in school, much less in real life. Hah. So stop re-adding me each time I delete you, it's getting to be quite the arrow in the ass that I would rather redirect to your throat.
Back from Melaka, and what a dusty old stupid place it was. I love the people there (okay, well, not all the people, and only less than half of the relatives there whom I love) but seriously, they need to filter the air. FILTER. EARTH, WHERE IS YOUR FILTERING SYSTEM. PLZ EXPORT WASTE INTO SOLAR SYSTEM. THE SUN NEEDS IT TO BURN OFF ANGER
Sneezing my fucking brains out, but what's new? Nothing's new, no, of course, red eyes and dripping noses and screams of H1N1 all over (okay, that's new) but still. Taiwan has h1n1 but am I worried? No of course I'm not worried, why would I be worried? *denial*
Grandfather has 3rd stage cancer and is being horrendously stubborn about a lot of things, and also in mucho denial about his four fucking cancerous growths at his armpit, which leaks out pus and possibly bits of his brain, it's quite disgusting. I know he's going to die and I've accepted it, and so has my mom, because 3rd stage cancer has eaten into your nerves and is impossibile to amputate and also, there is something quite wrong with your DNA, so let's not refurbish your whole damn body to get rid of that pesky little (or should I say big) cockroach installing a satellite TV at your armpit.
Honestly, if you're in pain, say you're in pain, and say you need a doctor. You are 76 and old, do you hear me, OLD, so if you are in pain because of cancer, which is not a laughing joke at all, DO NOT WAIT UNTIL LAST MINUTE TO FINALLY STOP AND THINK, OH, I GUESS I DO NEED A DOCTOR AFTER ALL, you... stubborn old man.
So three weeks ago he refused chemo, and now he's demanding it and is outraged that the doctor is on vacation. Dude, doc's not gonna wait for you, and my mom certainly isn't going to stop her scolding just because you're old and have cancer.
Also, if you pay insurance, please at least find out what insurance is...
Despite all that, and a certain unfailingly horrifying experience on Monday morning, the weekend was fine.
Tomorrow is badminton with Andrew Loong JX and Zhen Chien, and whoever else Andrew wants to call to be part of my harem. My boys are all well trained, of course. xD
Lunch as well, though if Andrew doesn't get back to me sooner I will have to shoot him.
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Back from Melaka, and what a dusty old stupid place it was. I love the people there (okay, well, not all the people, and only less than half of the relatives there whom I love) but seriously, they need to filter the air. FILTER. EARTH, WHERE IS YOUR FILTERING SYSTEM. PLZ EXPORT WASTE INTO SOLAR SYSTEM. THE SUN NEEDS IT TO BURN OFF ANGER
Sneezing my fucking brains out, but what's new? Nothing's new, no, of course, red eyes and dripping noses and screams of H1N1 all over (okay, that's new) but still. Taiwan has h1n1 but am I worried? No of course I'm not worried, why would I be worried? *denial*
Grandfather has 3rd stage cancer and is being horrendously stubborn about a lot of things, and also in mucho denial about his four fucking cancerous growths at his armpit, which leaks out pus and possibly bits of his brain, it's quite disgusting. I know he's going to die and I've accepted it, and so has my mom, because 3rd stage cancer has eaten into your nerves and is impossibile to amputate and also, there is something quite wrong with your DNA, so let's not refurbish your whole damn body to get rid of that pesky little (or should I say big) cockroach installing a satellite TV at your armpit.
Honestly, if you're in pain, say you're in pain, and say you need a doctor. You are 76 and old, do you hear me, OLD, so if you are in pain because of cancer, which is not a laughing joke at all, DO NOT WAIT UNTIL LAST MINUTE TO FINALLY STOP AND THINK, OH, I GUESS I DO NEED A DOCTOR AFTER ALL, you... stubborn old man.
So three weeks ago he refused chemo, and now he's demanding it and is outraged that the doctor is on vacation. Dude, doc's not gonna wait for you, and my mom certainly isn't going to stop her scolding just because you're old and have cancer.
Also, if you pay insurance, please at least find out what insurance is...
Despite all that, and a certain unfailingly horrifying experience on Monday morning, the weekend was fine.
Tomorrow is badminton with Andrew Loong JX and Zhen Chien, and whoever else Andrew wants to call to be part of my harem. My boys are all well trained, of course. xD
Lunch as well, though if Andrew doesn't get back to me sooner I will have to shoot him.
5:10 AM
Thursday, July 23, 2009
This is the 5000000000000th post~~
Okay so by 50000000000000th I actually mean 500th, but same difference.
So last night I went out with Clement, Jun Yi, Huang Ming and his girlfriend, Weng Khye, and Jun Xuen for like some sort of farewell dinner since Clement's leaving on Saturday. Dinner was at Kepong and Ka Ka Restaurant, serving bak kut teh, which was probably the most horrible bak kut teh I've ever tasted. But everyone else seemed to like it, so whatever. Maybe it's just me xD
Then we went back to Junyi's house and tried playing Cluedo, but we spotted this stupid bug which would make people unable to win and we couldn't find anything in the rules to dispute that. Then hm and his girlfriend went back, so it was only me and junyi, clement wengkhye and jun xuen left...Then as we were lazing around talking and wondering what to do, I introduced them to The Game of Things...
It's a pretty fun game, basically there are supposed to be a deck of cards containing stuff like "things you shouldn't say to your girlfriend" and "things you shouldn't swallow" and stuff like that. A whole bunch of those. But as we didn't have the cards, I made us take turns to think up of something. Then, everyone else has to write a response and give it to the Reader. The Reader (which shifts from player to player each round) reads all responses aloud, and the player to the left of the Reader begins guessing who wrote what.
It can get really really dirty (as evident from my experience with the game in Canada), but the first round was hilarious. I started, with 'things you shouldn't swallow'. The responses were 'dick, fish ball, sluts, pussy', and one more I forget. Lol. I don't think it was very fun for Junyi, she kept giving all the innocent answers, so everyone kept guessing her correctly. But for the rest of us it was hilarious...
Junyi: Things you should do before you go to sleep
The rest of us: *scribbling*
Junyi: Ok, the responses are... tie up your girlfriend, poke holes in bed, laugh, drink milk, masturbate.
everyone else: poke holes in bed???? wtf???
Clement: Things you can find in a vagina
The rest of us: .........................................
Clement: What?? Ok, responses... 'bak kut teh'... EW THAT'S DISGUSTING
everyone else: OMG EW
Junyi: Things that are fluffy!
Weng Khye: *laughing way too hard for some reason*
Junyi: Ok... responses... "Jun Xuen's hair, Jun Xuen's Fluffy Things, Jun Xuen's balls...
'By this time, everyone was too busy laughing at Jun Xuen xDDDDD
Yeah all in all, it was a pretty fun night. Then Junyi had this gastric problem which almost made her cry, it was really sad to see her like that. We tried to make her feel better but she says nothing works for this kind of pain. I went back home at 1.30 am. When I got home, my parents weren't home yet xDDD
Muahahaa.
And now, off to Melaka... whcih sucks... sigh. Okay, maybe it doesn't suck. But still, it's dusty and annoying and makes me sneeze and can't sleep at night and sometimes its torture.
Missing Tim =(
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Okay so by 50000000000000th I actually mean 500th, but same difference.
So last night I went out with Clement, Jun Yi, Huang Ming and his girlfriend, Weng Khye, and Jun Xuen for like some sort of farewell dinner since Clement's leaving on Saturday. Dinner was at Kepong and Ka Ka Restaurant, serving bak kut teh, which was probably the most horrible bak kut teh I've ever tasted. But everyone else seemed to like it, so whatever. Maybe it's just me xD
Then we went back to Junyi's house and tried playing Cluedo, but we spotted this stupid bug which would make people unable to win and we couldn't find anything in the rules to dispute that. Then hm and his girlfriend went back, so it was only me and junyi, clement wengkhye and jun xuen left...Then as we were lazing around talking and wondering what to do, I introduced them to The Game of Things...
It's a pretty fun game, basically there are supposed to be a deck of cards containing stuff like "things you shouldn't say to your girlfriend" and "things you shouldn't swallow" and stuff like that. A whole bunch of those. But as we didn't have the cards, I made us take turns to think up of something. Then, everyone else has to write a response and give it to the Reader. The Reader (which shifts from player to player each round) reads all responses aloud, and the player to the left of the Reader begins guessing who wrote what.
It can get really really dirty (as evident from my experience with the game in Canada), but the first round was hilarious. I started, with 'things you shouldn't swallow'. The responses were 'dick, fish ball, sluts, pussy', and one more I forget. Lol. I don't think it was very fun for Junyi, she kept giving all the innocent answers, so everyone kept guessing her correctly. But for the rest of us it was hilarious...
Junyi: Things you should do before you go to sleep
The rest of us: *scribbling*
Junyi: Ok, the responses are... tie up your girlfriend, poke holes in bed, laugh, drink milk, masturbate.
everyone else: poke holes in bed???? wtf???
Clement: Things you can find in a vagina
The rest of us: .........................................
Clement: What?? Ok, responses... 'bak kut teh'... EW THAT'S DISGUSTING
everyone else: OMG EW
Junyi: Things that are fluffy!
Weng Khye: *laughing way too hard for some reason*
Junyi: Ok... responses... "Jun Xuen's hair, Jun Xuen's Fluffy Things, Jun Xuen's balls...
'By this time, everyone was too busy laughing at Jun Xuen xDDDDD
Yeah all in all, it was a pretty fun night. Then Junyi had this gastric problem which almost made her cry, it was really sad to see her like that. We tried to make her feel better but she says nothing works for this kind of pain. I went back home at 1.30 am. When I got home, my parents weren't home yet xDDD
Muahahaa.
And now, off to Melaka... whcih sucks... sigh. Okay, maybe it doesn't suck. But still, it's dusty and annoying and makes me sneeze and can't sleep at night and sometimes its torture.
Missing Tim =(
11:09 PM
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I am unlocking my blog.
Actually, I have unlocked my blog.
Screw the past and whatever is in it that wants to sift through all this crap and find all my faults and use it as blackmail, I'm just going to unlock it because honestly, even locking up my blog didn't leave me free enough to write whatever it is that I wanted to...
(this has nothing to do with tim. seriously. believe me. 8D)
I mean, I realize the danger of unlocking my blog but who cares? Who cares? Sure it leaves me open to a few people who know who I am and who hate me for hurting their friend and whatever crap, but so what? If I'm free to write and free to fight back I think it's better than hiding behind this stupid protected blog...
Yeah so whatever.
Just done badminton with Andrew, Loong, Justin, Yi Theng and Yien Hsiu... gosh, I haven't seen those two girls in a long time ... I hugged YT and we did this sort of erotic cuddle which Yien reported looked kinda gay. I think I'm getting better at badminton, well Andrew's been coaching me on how to smash, I think the next step is how to take smashes (or how to moan like you're so into taking smashes, which is what Andrew does to freak us all out) and pretty much we spent the entire two hours having fun. Justin... er, I mean Melman :D He was prancing around like a frickin ballerina and looked absolutely ridiculous. Tried to take video but he caught on and basically stopped prancing around like a ballerina..
Loong has some blackmail, I think, well he was video-ing this entire badminton game for some reason, I kinda wanna dig it out from him later.
Entering a piano competition too! :D it's gonna be awesome, I don't care if I fail spectacularly, it's my first competition xD
Yesterday was my tenth month with Tim, and it was kinda sad for me because I was reading a sad love story and he wished me online and I was like omg yeah it is our tenth month.. and we both kinda realized that we couldnt' celebrate it in anyway...
But we do have a plan for the one year one, which is coming really, really soon. Muahaha. I just have to remember to bring it over to Canada otherwise I will cry for the entire year.
Spending time with all these guys makes me miss him so much. It's horrible. I have (almost) all these guys here at my disposal (MY HAREM 8D *gets whacked to death by the lot of them*) and not the one I want with me the most.
MYEHHHHHHHHHHH.
Teaching piano is hard. But enjoyable, nonetheless. Also, my piano teacher has the cutest dog in the entire world. AND HIS NAME IS TIMMIE 8D TIMMIE BOYYYY and he loves me too, just like the other timmie xD
See? See??? once I unlock this stupid blog the words come out like pancakes.
Like maple syrup on pancakes.
... like maple syrup on MY pancakes, at any rate.
___________ turn the world and halt the clouds it breaks and falls to us as rain
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Actually, I have unlocked my blog.
Screw the past and whatever is in it that wants to sift through all this crap and find all my faults and use it as blackmail, I'm just going to unlock it because honestly, even locking up my blog didn't leave me free enough to write whatever it is that I wanted to...
(this has nothing to do with tim. seriously. believe me. 8D)
I mean, I realize the danger of unlocking my blog but who cares? Who cares? Sure it leaves me open to a few people who know who I am and who hate me for hurting their friend and whatever crap, but so what? If I'm free to write and free to fight back I think it's better than hiding behind this stupid protected blog...
Yeah so whatever.
Just done badminton with Andrew, Loong, Justin, Yi Theng and Yien Hsiu... gosh, I haven't seen those two girls in a long time ... I hugged YT and we did this sort of erotic cuddle which Yien reported looked kinda gay. I think I'm getting better at badminton, well Andrew's been coaching me on how to smash, I think the next step is how to take smashes (or how to moan like you're so into taking smashes, which is what Andrew does to freak us all out) and pretty much we spent the entire two hours having fun. Justin... er, I mean Melman :D He was prancing around like a frickin ballerina and looked absolutely ridiculous. Tried to take video but he caught on and basically stopped prancing around like a ballerina..
Loong has some blackmail, I think, well he was video-ing this entire badminton game for some reason, I kinda wanna dig it out from him later.
Entering a piano competition too! :D it's gonna be awesome, I don't care if I fail spectacularly, it's my first competition xD
Yesterday was my tenth month with Tim, and it was kinda sad for me because I was reading a sad love story and he wished me online and I was like omg yeah it is our tenth month.. and we both kinda realized that we couldnt' celebrate it in anyway...
But we do have a plan for the one year one, which is coming really, really soon. Muahaha. I just have to remember to bring it over to Canada otherwise I will cry for the entire year.
Spending time with all these guys makes me miss him so much. It's horrible. I have (almost) all these guys here at my disposal (MY HAREM 8D *gets whacked to death by the lot of them*) and not the one I want with me the most.
MYEHHHHHHHHHHH.
Teaching piano is hard. But enjoyable, nonetheless. Also, my piano teacher has the cutest dog in the entire world. AND HIS NAME IS TIMMIE 8D TIMMIE BOYYYY and he loves me too, just like the other timmie xD
See? See??? once I unlock this stupid blog the words come out like pancakes.
Like maple syrup on pancakes.
... like maple syrup on MY pancakes, at any rate.
___________ turn the world and halt the clouds it breaks and falls to us as rain
5:34 AM
Thursday, July 02, 2009
OK, I find it really, really, quite amusing that of the 3 serious girlfriends Ben had, 2 of them moved on from him to Taiwanese musicians in the making. Lol.
Yeah, just found out that Mei's going steady with a Taiwanese guy in the US, also doing music. Lol.
Tim's Taiwanese and also doing music xDDD
I should go find out if Ben's first girlfriend also has a Taiwanese boyfriend.
TAIWANESE PEOPLE ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD
Um, yeah. Lol.
So been hanging out with a new crowd lately, mostly consisting of Loong, Zhen Chien and Tycoon (though Tyc's back in Singapore now), Jun Xuen. They're really fun to hang out with, although I don't know if they like hanging out with me.
It just sort of hurt that when I came back and told Huang Ming and Weng Khye that I was back (via msn), I received no replies. Huang Ming said something vaguely, but he disappeared after that. If that is the case, then there is nothing left to say, right?
I think the reason why I can talk to Loong, ZC and the rest is that we all share a love of gaming. While I don't play the kind of yay-shoot-stuff-and-die games, which I actually really want to but I just really suck at it and after 15 minutes I usually have a headache the size of Singapore, I still know what they're talking about when they talk about games.
I've always known that I hang around with guys too much for them to treat me as a girl. Lol. While I was a bit uncomfortable hanging out with Loong and the rest because I'm sorta new to them, it's just comforting to know that these guys don't really picture me as a girl whom they can date.
After all, who would want a girl who swears and games and doesn't really care that much about fashion/looks right?
Tim's the exception, though that's because Tim's sick of the pretty girls who dress up and look good and are demure and sweet and they end up dumpign him for another guy.
He's happy with me, and he likes me for who I am, and whether this notion lasts or not only time will tell, this is enough for me.
Zhen says looks are not important. When he likes a girl, he likes her for her personality.
But can you honestly tell me that when you first saw this girl, your first thought was "Hey, she looks like a nice person"? I'm pretty sure it's along the lines of, "she's pretty cute/hot. Maybe she's a nice person too."
It is never, "She might be a nice person. Helps that she's quite cute too."
It's never that way around. No matter how much we want to believe inner beauty comes first, it's not true. Because you yourself will know that you are more likely to chat up someone more attractive compared to someone less attractive.
And THEN only you will find out if that person is nice or not.
Of course I agree that one's personality is important, but to say that looks doesn't matter, it does! It matters, just as much as a person's personality matters, and to put the personality of someone whom you don't know FIRST, and look at his/her looks later, it's utter bullshit, because of your first perception when you see that person, is to admire whether or not he/she looks good.
And all the girls Zhen has ever liked, or Ben has ever liked, they're all pretty. You cannot deny the pattern there; sure they have nice personalities, but is it a coincidence that they're all pretty? It's not, because we're all attracted to something, and while you can say you are attracted to her personality, her looks plays a part in it too.
Ben has always been telling me; the girls like the cool guys. they like the badasses. They turn to the nice guys for help, for advice... but they will never pick the nice guys as their boyfriend, because they're not attractive enough.
He kept saying that, girls attracted to money, attracted to handsomeness... all that crap.
And I called him a hypocrite when he got together with his 'eye candy' (aka Mei) when all along I had been by his side and to give him advice when he came to me yet he never picked me.
He apologized and said he didn't realize but the damage is done. I know now what kind of person he is.
but enough about ben. I don't like him anymore, yet I still think of him bitterness; like how I still think of Kenneth with bitterness.
Bleh~
plaayed badminton with Loong JX and Andrew yesterday. I HURT EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHEEEEEEERE
and Clement's back. My god, he was practically jumping around like a puppy in a cage (which is quite apt seeing how he had to self quarantine himself) and he's already out in 1 u, whcih is quite dangerous if you think about it. Lol.
I bumped into him today, oddly enough my mother saw him first, and I went to him to say hi. He was stuffing his face with chicken, and Jun Yi was there too, who looked very surprised to see me and asked when I got back. HAH. As if you or wk or hm really care...
Probably gonna see them tomorrow, I guess? =)
Going to Hainan Island on Sunday. Hate packing...
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Yeah, just found out that Mei's going steady with a Taiwanese guy in the US, also doing music. Lol.
Tim's Taiwanese and also doing music xDDD
I should go find out if Ben's first girlfriend also has a Taiwanese boyfriend.
TAIWANESE PEOPLE ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD
Um, yeah. Lol.
So been hanging out with a new crowd lately, mostly consisting of Loong, Zhen Chien and Tycoon (though Tyc's back in Singapore now), Jun Xuen. They're really fun to hang out with, although I don't know if they like hanging out with me.
It just sort of hurt that when I came back and told Huang Ming and Weng Khye that I was back (via msn), I received no replies. Huang Ming said something vaguely, but he disappeared after that. If that is the case, then there is nothing left to say, right?
I think the reason why I can talk to Loong, ZC and the rest is that we all share a love of gaming. While I don't play the kind of yay-shoot-stuff-and-die games, which I actually really want to but I just really suck at it and after 15 minutes I usually have a headache the size of Singapore, I still know what they're talking about when they talk about games.
I've always known that I hang around with guys too much for them to treat me as a girl. Lol. While I was a bit uncomfortable hanging out with Loong and the rest because I'm sorta new to them, it's just comforting to know that these guys don't really picture me as a girl whom they can date.
After all, who would want a girl who swears and games and doesn't really care that much about fashion/looks right?
Tim's the exception, though that's because Tim's sick of the pretty girls who dress up and look good and are demure and sweet and they end up dumpign him for another guy.
He's happy with me, and he likes me for who I am, and whether this notion lasts or not only time will tell, this is enough for me.
Zhen says looks are not important. When he likes a girl, he likes her for her personality.
But can you honestly tell me that when you first saw this girl, your first thought was "Hey, she looks like a nice person"? I'm pretty sure it's along the lines of, "she's pretty cute/hot. Maybe she's a nice person too."
It is never, "She might be a nice person. Helps that she's quite cute too."
It's never that way around. No matter how much we want to believe inner beauty comes first, it's not true. Because you yourself will know that you are more likely to chat up someone more attractive compared to someone less attractive.
And THEN only you will find out if that person is nice or not.
Of course I agree that one's personality is important, but to say that looks doesn't matter, it does! It matters, just as much as a person's personality matters, and to put the personality of someone whom you don't know FIRST, and look at his/her looks later, it's utter bullshit, because of your first perception when you see that person, is to admire whether or not he/she looks good.
And all the girls Zhen has ever liked, or Ben has ever liked, they're all pretty. You cannot deny the pattern there; sure they have nice personalities, but is it a coincidence that they're all pretty? It's not, because we're all attracted to something, and while you can say you are attracted to her personality, her looks plays a part in it too.
Ben has always been telling me; the girls like the cool guys. they like the badasses. They turn to the nice guys for help, for advice... but they will never pick the nice guys as their boyfriend, because they're not attractive enough.
He kept saying that, girls attracted to money, attracted to handsomeness... all that crap.
And I called him a hypocrite when he got together with his 'eye candy' (aka Mei) when all along I had been by his side and to give him advice when he came to me yet he never picked me.
He apologized and said he didn't realize but the damage is done. I know now what kind of person he is.
but enough about ben. I don't like him anymore, yet I still think of him bitterness; like how I still think of Kenneth with bitterness.
Bleh~
plaayed badminton with Loong JX and Andrew yesterday. I HURT EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHEEEEEEERE
and Clement's back. My god, he was practically jumping around like a puppy in a cage (which is quite apt seeing how he had to self quarantine himself) and he's already out in 1 u, whcih is quite dangerous if you think about it. Lol.
I bumped into him today, oddly enough my mother saw him first, and I went to him to say hi. He was stuffing his face with chicken, and Jun Yi was there too, who looked very surprised to see me and asked when I got back. HAH. As if you or wk or hm really care...
Probably gonna see them tomorrow, I guess? =)
Going to Hainan Island on Sunday. Hate packing...
5:20 AM
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sometimes I can't believe I have such a father.
I wonder now if this is the right profession for me; psychology. I find that people open up to me quite easily but how do I get through to them to do the right thing? Why is it my best friend writes disgustingly depressing posts that sound so much like teen emo goth things even when it's not? I read those posts and I want to throw something at the screen, especially with sentences like "Guess I'm going to OD this week. Oh well, too bad I guess."
My dad? My dad has the mindset that I am the naughtiest daughter, the rebellious one, and the most disrespectful one --- when all I have ever done is POINT OUT everything hurtful he has said to me and my mother, albeit in a pretty rude way, but all I have ever done is show him how much he has hurt me and my mother by behaving in this fucking way. That is my mistake --- pointing it out. He can't tolerate this 'disrespect' from me, so the best thing for me to do is keep my mouth shut. Keep it so shut until we can't have a proper conversation because anything I say can end up turned towards me, be it the tone or the words or the wrong answer.
He'll be a tyrant when I'm older, oh yes, I'm sure of it. Just like the rest of his brothers, although probably not as bad. He'll demand everything of me that he sees in my sister: obedience, respect, asking him for advice, and filial. He tells my mother that she always gets me to side with her and always influenced my thoughts that he is a bad father. Which is complete bullshit and I can't even believe that he thinks like that of me. He thinks I love my mother more, and I think he loves my sister more, isn't that a balance? The only difference is I dont' care if he loves my sister more, I really don't. I know he loves me but he has to see that me and my sister are two different people, and handling me with anger and shouting and yelling about my "disrespect" is only going to drive me further away from him. I cannot see myself taking care of him in the future, I just can't. I can't deal with it, can't deal with him.
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I wonder now if this is the right profession for me; psychology. I find that people open up to me quite easily but how do I get through to them to do the right thing? Why is it my best friend writes disgustingly depressing posts that sound so much like teen emo goth things even when it's not? I read those posts and I want to throw something at the screen, especially with sentences like "Guess I'm going to OD this week. Oh well, too bad I guess."
My dad? My dad has the mindset that I am the naughtiest daughter, the rebellious one, and the most disrespectful one --- when all I have ever done is POINT OUT everything hurtful he has said to me and my mother, albeit in a pretty rude way, but all I have ever done is show him how much he has hurt me and my mother by behaving in this fucking way. That is my mistake --- pointing it out. He can't tolerate this 'disrespect' from me, so the best thing for me to do is keep my mouth shut. Keep it so shut until we can't have a proper conversation because anything I say can end up turned towards me, be it the tone or the words or the wrong answer.
He'll be a tyrant when I'm older, oh yes, I'm sure of it. Just like the rest of his brothers, although probably not as bad. He'll demand everything of me that he sees in my sister: obedience, respect, asking him for advice, and filial. He tells my mother that she always gets me to side with her and always influenced my thoughts that he is a bad father. Which is complete bullshit and I can't even believe that he thinks like that of me. He thinks I love my mother more, and I think he loves my sister more, isn't that a balance? The only difference is I dont' care if he loves my sister more, I really don't. I know he loves me but he has to see that me and my sister are two different people, and handling me with anger and shouting and yelling about my "disrespect" is only going to drive me further away from him. I cannot see myself taking care of him in the future, I just can't. I can't deal with it, can't deal with him.
11:43 PM
Sunday, May 17, 2009
A week left to class, and in three weeks I'm coming home. Two more weeks and then Tim and I won't see each other for another three months (well, except webcam, but you know it doesn't count).
Swine flu is pretty scary news.
...
Tim has diarrhea.
(do you see the connection?)
OK, so maybe it's unlikely that he has swine flu but still. God. I'm kissing the guy you know. I don't want swine flu.
Well I haven't had diarrhea yet so meh.
Also, what is it with getting men to see doctors? Sheesh.
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Swine flu is pretty scary news.
...
Tim has diarrhea.
(do you see the connection?)
OK, so maybe it's unlikely that he has swine flu but still. God. I'm kissing the guy you know. I don't want swine flu.
Well I haven't had diarrhea yet so meh.
Also, what is it with getting men to see doctors? Sheesh.
10:26 PM
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I don't know why I'm not updating as frequently anymore. I think it has something to do with me locking up the blog. For some reason I can't express myself as openly anymore.
Went on a date with Tim. Watched X Men Origins. Probably the most awesome movie I've watched this year, excepting Coraline. Also, can't wait to watch UP and HP6!!!
HP6 I'm watching with Pat, I guess, if my parents aren't gonna watch it. I doubt they understand much of the movie. Also doubt if they remember much of the previous ones.
...
Then again, can't say much for Pat either xDDDDDD
Less than a month left to spend with Tim.
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Went on a date with Tim. Watched X Men Origins. Probably the most awesome movie I've watched this year, excepting Coraline. Also, can't wait to watch UP and HP6!!!
HP6 I'm watching with Pat, I guess, if my parents aren't gonna watch it. I doubt they understand much of the movie. Also doubt if they remember much of the previous ones.
...
Then again, can't say much for Pat either xDDDDDD
Less than a month left to spend with Tim.
10:47 PM
Sunday, April 19, 2009
In Tim's room, reading fanfiction.
Can hear two people boinking each other like bunnies. Except I can only hear the girl's voice, getting progressively higher and more ecstatic. It's pretty funny to listen to xD
This is coming from 5 rooms away, by the way xD
And we know because we know the couple who's doing it lolol
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Can hear two people boinking each other like bunnies. Except I can only hear the girl's voice, getting progressively higher and more ecstatic. It's pretty funny to listen to xD
This is coming from 5 rooms away, by the way xD
And we know because we know the couple who's doing it lolol
3:44 AM
Sunday, April 12, 2009
12:20 AM
Sunday, April 05, 2009
(This post is not intended to make sense for people who do not know. And the only people who know is me, and Tim.
Also, pretty mushy post ahead.)
I don't suppose thinking too far ahead is the right thing to do --- yet I think anyway. I don't worry that much now, and I try to be as good as I possibly can. I don't generally behave nicely to people I don't like, but I know I pretend to behave nicely to someone I have to be nice to (i.e roommate) yet backstab her most of the time. That's bad.
I lie, a lot, to myself. I am capable of twisting words and and twisting stories to make myself sound in the better position, the correct position, the "weaker" position, anything you can name.
I am an attention whore.I exaggerate stories to gain attention. I swell in pride when someone laughs at something I say. I don't cry to attract attention, however. I still visit my old boyfriend's blog just to see if I still matter, if I'm still worthy of his blogging.
Everyone has their flaws, right?
I find your flaws too. You're stubborn and lazy, just like me. Yet I marvel at the way you are able to sit down and finish work once you've started. You dislike a lot of things but refuse to resolve problems like telling your roommate to stop making noise while you are asleep. You talk a lot about confrontation but in actuality you avoid it alot.
So what is this obstacle between us?
I know you're right in saying that, I love you more for saying that, and I am really glad to be with you (despite the spectacular fail my grades have dropped and by fail I don't really mean fail, I just mean spectacular)
I don't really ---
Wonder.
I think we have a healthy relationship, and I can still see us going pretty far. There's a reason why you treat me the way you do, and why I treat you the way I do, and I haven't found our personalities clash badly before. I doubt it'll ever happen --- we don't much disagree with each other, and we don't have to give in that much either. I can't think of anything BIG I had to give up in order to stay with you and I'm still happier for it. I don't think you did anything like that as well.
I've never found anyone as giving as I am -- years I absorbed all the attention I could get from Ben, Kenneth, Dat Han -- It was never enough. I gave and gave and never got anything back till I met you and found that you were just as clingy as I am. (although i agree with you on the not seeing each other for 3 months for "summer")
It's close to 6 months now. I'm excited, despite it still being kinda short.
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Also, pretty mushy post ahead.)
I don't suppose thinking too far ahead is the right thing to do --- yet I think anyway. I don't worry that much now, and I try to be as good as I possibly can. I don't generally behave nicely to people I don't like, but I know I pretend to behave nicely to someone I have to be nice to (i.e roommate) yet backstab her most of the time. That's bad.
I lie, a lot, to myself. I am capable of twisting words and and twisting stories to make myself sound in the better position, the correct position, the "weaker" position, anything you can name.
I am an attention whore.I exaggerate stories to gain attention. I swell in pride when someone laughs at something I say. I don't cry to attract attention, however. I still visit my old boyfriend's blog just to see if I still matter, if I'm still worthy of his blogging.
Everyone has their flaws, right?
I find your flaws too. You're stubborn and lazy, just like me. Yet I marvel at the way you are able to sit down and finish work once you've started. You dislike a lot of things but refuse to resolve problems like telling your roommate to stop making noise while you are asleep. You talk a lot about confrontation but in actuality you avoid it alot.
So what is this obstacle between us?
I know you're right in saying that, I love you more for saying that, and I am really glad to be with you (despite the spectacular fail my grades have dropped and by fail I don't really mean fail, I just mean spectacular)
I don't really ---
Wonder.
I think we have a healthy relationship, and I can still see us going pretty far. There's a reason why you treat me the way you do, and why I treat you the way I do, and I haven't found our personalities clash badly before. I doubt it'll ever happen --- we don't much disagree with each other, and we don't have to give in that much either. I can't think of anything BIG I had to give up in order to stay with you and I'm still happier for it. I don't think you did anything like that as well.
I've never found anyone as giving as I am -- years I absorbed all the attention I could get from Ben, Kenneth, Dat Han -- It was never enough. I gave and gave and never got anything back till I met you and found that you were just as clingy as I am. (although i agree with you on the not seeing each other for 3 months for "summer")
It's close to 6 months now. I'm excited, despite it still being kinda short.
11:09 PM
Monday, March 23, 2009
Talking to my dad is really, really tiring. I think he's hungover or has too many things to think about because I cannot make sense of what he is trying to say lol.
kk says:
what's yr tagline mean again ?
y u n w a y n e - ` says:
... it means, "everything i do, i do it for you"
why do you keep asking that
kk says:
it should be everyting i do i do it for your ler
y u n w a y n e - ` says:
for your ler ?
what...???
kk says:
i wish
anything is demeaning
y u n w a y n e - ` says:
i didn't say 'anything'
i said 'everything'
kk says:
no
should i change my pic to black and white
Severe topic jump much?? xD
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kk says:
what's yr tagline mean again ?
y u n w a y n e - ` says:
... it means, "everything i do, i do it for you"
why do you keep asking that
kk says:
it should be everyting i do i do it for your ler
y u n w a y n e - ` says:
for your ler ?
what...???
kk says:
i wish
anything is demeaning
y u n w a y n e - ` says:
i didn't say 'anything'
i said 'everything'
kk says:
no
should i change my pic to black and white
Severe topic jump much?? xD
9:48 PM
Sunday, March 22, 2009
So anyone here remember Kenneth? Yep, my first boyfriend who dumped me for God?
I found out that he and his girlfriend are no longer together. After 3 years, she left him for another guy (or so it seems.)
I am vindictively happy. Revenge is so sweet (even though I didn't do ANYTHING for revenge)
So happy, in fact, that I want to see him just to smirk at his face.
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I found out that he and his girlfriend are no longer together. After 3 years, she left him for another guy (or so it seems.)
I am vindictively happy. Revenge is so sweet (even though I didn't do ANYTHING for revenge)
So happy, in fact, that I want to see him just to smirk at his face.
3:56 PM
Friday, March 20, 2009
Valentine's day was pretty long ago, but I was really not in the mood to blog since ... ever. Anyway, this was a present from Tim ^-^ I can't take a good picture of it, but it's a really cool blend of colours when you look at it from different angles. It's really pretty ^-^
Today is our 5th month anniversary thingy. Things have been pretty stable, I guess there are times when I annoy him a little bit but I can usually tell if he's annoyed and I stop doing whatever it is that annoys him. lol.
I got a C for Chemistry, meh.
Wondering if I should go into research psychology since counselling is obviously not my thing, *coughcoughpatcoughcough*
Fanfiction status - 606 reviews. I ROCK so hard.
Tim's parents, and grandmother, is coming to Canada. May 28th. I.. am probably going to see them... kinda nervous about that. Ahaha. His grandmother, for heaven sakes. >_<
5:45 PM
Friday, February 27, 2009
So pissed off at Ben. So pissed off.
OK, so we decided to remain friends, right. I decided I could forgive him somewhat. Decided that since I confirm don't like him anymore, things should be FINE.
What the fuck does he do?
He messages me, demands my attention, keeps wanting to webcam with me, KEEPS FUCKING CALLING ME "YUNNY DEARIE, YUNNY MY ONE AND ONLY (ok, he was slightly joking with this one)", but HOLY SHIT dude. Get a life.
I warned him the first time. He backed off and told me to chill.
Warned him again the second.
Said he'd try to stop. Said sorry.
And finally, I just blew up at him when he did it to me again via sms. "Good luck on your exam tomorrow, cheer up yunny dearie"
Like fuck off. I've told him time and time again, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT. I'M NOT YOUR DEARIE AND I SURE AS HECK DON'T WANT TO BE.
I'm not surprised Mei was so mad at him for flirting with other girls. he doesn't consider this flirting, but it's fucking inappropriate. No, he goes by his own principles where it seems that calling other people by pet names is alright because they shouldn't be so angry about it if i mean it or not.
But here's the thing -- when asked if he meant it or not, he wouldn't answer. What am I supposed to take that as?
If he meant it; it means he still likes me or whatever crap.
If he doesn't really mean it; he's just saying it to get on my nerves.
BUt him, being the cryptic bastard he is, he refuses to say. Refuses to stop. Fucking asshole. I'm blocking him.
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OK, so we decided to remain friends, right. I decided I could forgive him somewhat. Decided that since I confirm don't like him anymore, things should be FINE.
What the fuck does he do?
He messages me, demands my attention, keeps wanting to webcam with me, KEEPS FUCKING CALLING ME "YUNNY DEARIE, YUNNY MY ONE AND ONLY (ok, he was slightly joking with this one)", but HOLY SHIT dude. Get a life.
I warned him the first time. He backed off and told me to chill.
Warned him again the second.
Said he'd try to stop. Said sorry.
And finally, I just blew up at him when he did it to me again via sms. "Good luck on your exam tomorrow, cheer up yunny dearie"
Like fuck off. I've told him time and time again, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT. I'M NOT YOUR DEARIE AND I SURE AS HECK DON'T WANT TO BE.
I'm not surprised Mei was so mad at him for flirting with other girls. he doesn't consider this flirting, but it's fucking inappropriate. No, he goes by his own principles where it seems that calling other people by pet names is alright because they shouldn't be so angry about it if i mean it or not.
But here's the thing -- when asked if he meant it or not, he wouldn't answer. What am I supposed to take that as?
If he meant it; it means he still likes me or whatever crap.
If he doesn't really mean it; he's just saying it to get on my nerves.
BUt him, being the cryptic bastard he is, he refuses to say. Refuses to stop. Fucking asshole. I'm blocking him.
5:35 PM
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Pics of his ex-girlfriends irritate me.
They irritate me to no end.
Imagining the heartbreak he went through (assuming of course, he's speaking the truth), it really pains me.
He puts a lot into relationships; I'm not feeling as though he's not really there, which I'm glad about.
Still.
He must have put a lot in his relationship with his first girlfriend. They lasted a year and a half, then she left for UT and met another guy and stopped wanting to see him.
Still.Pics of her pretty face and of the other pretty bitchy face just makes me want to throw something at the screen.
YEt I still keep signing in to his facebook to look at them.
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They irritate me to no end.
Imagining the heartbreak he went through (assuming of course, he's speaking the truth), it really pains me.
He puts a lot into relationships; I'm not feeling as though he's not really there, which I'm glad about.
Still.
He must have put a lot in his relationship with his first girlfriend. They lasted a year and a half, then she left for UT and met another guy and stopped wanting to see him.
Still.Pics of her pretty face and of the other pretty bitchy face just makes me want to throw something at the screen.
YEt I still keep signing in to his facebook to look at them.
3:51 AM
Monday, February 23, 2009
Tim takes up too much of my time, lol.
I've finally moved my computer back up to my room. I need to spend more time in my room now, and it's been working great so far.
I honestly don't have much to blog anymore. Really.
Well except that I had an argument with my dad last night, but that was just ... that was just so stupid I don't even know what to say. Not that he was stupid but that we were both stupid and I did something so he wouldn't be angry but then he got angrier and then it just all sort of exploded and imploded and whatever man.
Exams ...
Exam was kind of like.
A real shock to me. It's something I can't tell my parents. I don't want them to worry and nag.
I did study. I studied 6 hours straight, something I've never done before in my entire life.
Of course this is apparent that it is last minute studying.
I swear I'll never do it again, it doesn't work. >_<
Well it works to some extent, maybe I just don't trust that I applied the correct formulas and stuff. Pretty sketchy..
Was talking to my mom yesterday before the huge argument. The usual stuff "Be careful of taiwanese guys, they flirt a lot and are heart breakers" lol, and then the topic of flight tickets came about and I mustered the courage to ask my mom if I could fly back to Canada with Tim in August.
And she said yes, woot.
(possibly because the reasons I gave were *so he can carry my luggage and also watch over it if i need to go toilet)
The latest I'll be back is June 3rd. See you guys in Malaysia then ^-^
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I've finally moved my computer back up to my room. I need to spend more time in my room now, and it's been working great so far.
I honestly don't have much to blog anymore. Really.
Well except that I had an argument with my dad last night, but that was just ... that was just so stupid I don't even know what to say. Not that he was stupid but that we were both stupid and I did something so he wouldn't be angry but then he got angrier and then it just all sort of exploded and imploded and whatever man.
Exams ...
Exam was kind of like.
A real shock to me. It's something I can't tell my parents. I don't want them to worry and nag.
I did study. I studied 6 hours straight, something I've never done before in my entire life.
Of course this is apparent that it is last minute studying.
I swear I'll never do it again, it doesn't work. >_<
Well it works to some extent, maybe I just don't trust that I applied the correct formulas and stuff. Pretty sketchy..
Was talking to my mom yesterday before the huge argument. The usual stuff "Be careful of taiwanese guys, they flirt a lot and are heart breakers" lol, and then the topic of flight tickets came about and I mustered the courage to ask my mom if I could fly back to Canada with Tim in August.
And she said yes, woot.
(possibly because the reasons I gave were *so he can carry my luggage and also watch over it if i need to go toilet)
The latest I'll be back is June 3rd. See you guys in Malaysia then ^-^
1:15 PM
Monday, February 02, 2009
I think it probably is a human thing to run away from problems. Or, you knwo, at least push it aside into that dark little corner of your mind for time-out, only to have it sort of explode in your face and go HAH, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR IGNORING ME.
If it comes to lying to make yourself feel better; what use is the lie then when it actually becomes a part of yourself? What is the lie and what is the truth --- who are you really becoming? What have you been changing from?
Being comfortable old you isn't going to help -- not when comfortable old you just wants to shrivel up and die.
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If it comes to lying to make yourself feel better; what use is the lie then when it actually becomes a part of yourself? What is the lie and what is the truth --- who are you really becoming? What have you been changing from?
Being comfortable old you isn't going to help -- not when comfortable old you just wants to shrivel up and die.
4:30 PM
Friday, January 23, 2009
Am typing really slowly and quietly because Tim is sleeping. Big baby lol.
There's not really much on my mind but it is time for an update. I noticed I blogged more when I was angsting about certain people. When I was sad and depressed. It seems that I don't blog when I'm happy and contented, lol.
So it's been three months now Tim and I have been together --- and we've only had one big argument (which wasn't really that big, to be honest, just me thinking he was super angry at me when in fact he was only a little bit angry with me). I've found out more things about him (he hates peanut butter), signed into his Facebook account and trawled through his friend's lists photos to find pics of him...
Found some pics of him with his two ex-gfs. Am slightly upset that they're so good-looking. I find myself signing in to his account to stare at these two girls... wonder how they dumped him (I do know the story ... but still), wonder how they loved him, wonder how he loved them. I kind of want to gloat at them but since they dumped him they obviously don't want him anymore xD
IT's going to be my first CNY away from home. Maybe will get some angpau from Tim's relatives -.-
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There's not really much on my mind but it is time for an update. I noticed I blogged more when I was angsting about certain people. When I was sad and depressed. It seems that I don't blog when I'm happy and contented, lol.
So it's been three months now Tim and I have been together --- and we've only had one big argument (which wasn't really that big, to be honest, just me thinking he was super angry at me when in fact he was only a little bit angry with me). I've found out more things about him (he hates peanut butter), signed into his Facebook account and trawled through his friend's lists photos to find pics of him...
Found some pics of him with his two ex-gfs. Am slightly upset that they're so good-looking. I find myself signing in to his account to stare at these two girls... wonder how they dumped him (I do know the story ... but still), wonder how they loved him, wonder how he loved them. I kind of want to gloat at them but since they dumped him they obviously don't want him anymore xD
IT's going to be my first CNY away from home. Maybe will get some angpau from Tim's relatives -.-
11:43 PM
Friday, January 09, 2009
I think it has only recently hit me that it is a new year. I have a new life here in Canada, a new boyfriend (still Tim, but you know what I mean) new friends, and new stuff.
I don't remember last year's New Year's. Me, with the supposedly excellent memory, can't remember any New Year's before. Well, only vaguely. I think my brain's repressing it.
I'm going to be nineteen. This is a scary thought.
Tim tried to get a pair of rings for us for Christmas, but couldn't find any nice ones that don't look like he's a pimp or that I'm a materialistic whore. He's looking for those steel types, lol, not diamonds, because he can't afford diamonds and I'm not that stupid to demand that of him.
The strike is not over yet. Tim and I have been doing work now. An hour a day by ourselves studying. Everyone seems to think the strike will end next week, so we're sort of preparing ourselves. Sigh.
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I don't remember last year's New Year's. Me, with the supposedly excellent memory, can't remember any New Year's before. Well, only vaguely. I think my brain's repressing it.
I'm going to be nineteen. This is a scary thought.
Tim tried to get a pair of rings for us for Christmas, but couldn't find any nice ones that don't look like he's a pimp or that I'm a materialistic whore. He's looking for those steel types, lol, not diamonds, because he can't afford diamonds and I'm not that stupid to demand that of him.
The strike is not over yet. Tim and I have been doing work now. An hour a day by ourselves studying. Everyone seems to think the strike will end next week, so we're sort of preparing ourselves. Sigh.
7:55 PM
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
So yeah, my sis gave me Sephiroth for my birthday. Woot. (If you lot will remember, my birthday was seven months ago.
So, Sephiroth is awesome. For those of you who don't know. Lol. He just, however, can't stand up to anything cute. He's a softie. Such a softie -->
Sephiroth vs Sora, the cat.
Sephiroth : *pokes Sora's nose*
Sora: *twitches*
Sephiroth: *melts in a puddle of manly goo*
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So, Sephiroth is awesome. For those of you who don't know. Lol. He just, however, can't stand up to anything cute. He's a softie. Such a softie -->
Sephiroth vs Sora, the cat.
Sephiroth : *pokes Sora's nose*
Sora: *twitches*
Sephiroth: *melts in a puddle of manly goo*
Sephiroth vs Fake Chocobo (christmas present from Tim!)
Sephiroth: *pokes*
Fake Chocobo: *pouts*
Sephiroth: *melts in a manly puddle of goo*
Sephiroth vs Coco (my roommate's stuffed dog)
Sephiroth : *draws sword*
Coco: *bark* *GLOMP* *lick lick lick lick slobber lick*
Sephiroth: *DED FROM CUTENESS*
Annnnnnnd that's it. Lol. Happy new year everyone!
4:47 PM
Monday, December 22, 2008
Heading off today to my sister's place for Christmas. Lol. Tim's gonna go to his aunt's place in Scarborough.
Gonna miss him a lot =/
Side note: I GOT DISSIDIA. IT IS MADE OF WIN. I ALSO HAVE TIM'S NDS FOR THE HOLIDAYS BECAUSE HE SAYS HE'S NOT GONNA PLAY IT. WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT
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Gonna miss him a lot =/
Side note: I GOT DISSIDIA. IT IS MADE OF WIN. I ALSO HAVE TIM'S NDS FOR THE HOLIDAYS BECAUSE HE SAYS HE'S NOT GONNA PLAY IT. WOOT WOOT WOOT WOOT
2:09 PM
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
NEW LAYOUT!
KO - GE - PAAAN!
(I don't know what that is, actually.)
Meh, it's cute. Who cares? xD
Strike is still on. Chances are it's going till January.
Been sleeping according to Malaysian time (yikes!!) and that's actually pretty bad. Lol. Been dying of boredom .. extreme pure boredom.
Hence the no update because there's really nothing to write about, except boredom.
Because I'm so bored, I grace you all with a MEME! (tagged by clement.)
1/6. Patricia
2/7. ChingYee
3/8. Clement
4/9. Weng Khye
5/10. Huang Ming
How you know 1?(Patricia)
We met in Std 6. She was a bitch to me!!! ANd then we sat next to each other in Form 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. ^-^ Needless to say she is my BFF. XDD
What would you do if you never meet 2?(Ching Yee)
I would never know who the eff Michael Ballack is, for one thing. Lol. ChingYee, I miss juu~
What would you do if 3&4 dated you?(Clement and Weng Khye)
Clement, date me? Lol, I probably wouldn't do anything? One date is fine, but Clem and I ... nahhh. We'd annoy each other to hell. Lol. Weng Khye? Err, probably a more normal date than me and Clement, but I doubt we have much in common. Lol. Anyway, I HAVE TIM AND HE HAS JUNYI AND CLEM HAS THAT SOMEONE CALLED ANGEL. LOL.
Would 5 & 6 make a good couple?(Huang Ming & Pat)
OHMYGOD THEY USED TO BE KING AND QUEEN. THEN HUANGMING WENT AND HAD CONCUBINES.
Do you think 7 is attractive?(Ching Yee)
Yes! She's cute and perky and cool!
Do you know anything about 8’s family (Clement)
Hmmm, I know he has a little sister and brother.
What language does 2 speaks?(Ching Yee)
English. lol. Well, Manglish to be precise, but it probably has an Australian accent now *smirk*
Who is 3 going out with?(Clement)
Angel! Whoever she is.
How old is 4?(Eric)
Same age as me, 18.
When was the last time you talked to 5?(Huang Ming)
Via Facebook Wall ... um, two days ago. Lol.
Who is 6's favourite singer?(Pat)
Josh Groban, probably. And various other church singers?
Would you date number 7?(Ching Yee)
Yeah. Why not? XD
What is 9 last name?(Weng Khye)
Lim.
Would you consider being in a relationship with 1?(Pat)
Nah, we're too close as best friends to be in a relationship. Lol.
Which school does 2 go to?(Ching Yee)
University of Western Australia or something? =X not too sure...
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KO - GE - PAAAN!
(I don't know what that is, actually.)
Meh, it's cute. Who cares? xD
Strike is still on. Chances are it's going till January.
Been sleeping according to Malaysian time (yikes!!) and that's actually pretty bad. Lol. Been dying of boredom .. extreme pure boredom.
Hence the no update because there's really nothing to write about, except boredom.
Because I'm so bored, I grace you all with a MEME! (tagged by clement.)
1/6. Patricia
2/7. ChingYee
3/8. Clement
4/9. Weng Khye
5/10. Huang Ming
How you know 1?(Patricia)
We met in Std 6. She was a bitch to me!!! ANd then we sat next to each other in Form 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. ^-^ Needless to say she is my BFF. XDD
What would you do if you never meet 2?(Ching Yee)
I would never know who the eff Michael Ballack is, for one thing. Lol. ChingYee, I miss juu~
What would you do if 3&4 dated you?(Clement and Weng Khye)
Clement, date me? Lol, I probably wouldn't do anything? One date is fine, but Clem and I ... nahhh. We'd annoy each other to hell. Lol. Weng Khye? Err, probably a more normal date than me and Clement, but I doubt we have much in common. Lol. Anyway, I HAVE TIM AND HE HAS JUNYI AND CLEM HAS THAT SOMEONE CALLED ANGEL. LOL.
Would 5 & 6 make a good couple?(Huang Ming & Pat)
OHMYGOD THEY USED TO BE KING AND QUEEN. THEN HUANGMING WENT AND HAD CONCUBINES.
Do you think 7 is attractive?(Ching Yee)
Yes! She's cute and perky and cool!
Do you know anything about 8’s family (Clement)
Hmmm, I know he has a little sister and brother.
What language does 2 speaks?(Ching Yee)
English. lol. Well, Manglish to be precise, but it probably has an Australian accent now *smirk*
Who is 3 going out with?(Clement)
Angel! Whoever she is.
How old is 4?(Eric)
Same age as me, 18.
When was the last time you talked to 5?(Huang Ming)
Via Facebook Wall ... um, two days ago. Lol.
Who is 6's favourite singer?(Pat)
Josh Groban, probably. And various other church singers?
Would you date number 7?(Ching Yee)
Yeah. Why not? XD
What is 9 last name?(Weng Khye)
Lim.
Would you consider being in a relationship with 1?(Pat)
Nah, we're too close as best friends to be in a relationship. Lol.
Which school does 2 go to?(Ching Yee)
University of Western Australia or something? =X not too sure...
12:06 AM
Thursday, November 27, 2008
BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH.
Lol. That's all I am capable of saying, kinda.
Mmmm... going to meet Tim's relatives on Saturday. Get to see their dog, which is apparently an adorable little beagle you must never feed even though you want to give in to its puppy eyes. Lol. Sunday ... Arkin invited me to a gig or something, Tim's coming with me. Myehh. Still need to find directions on how to get there... I'd better call Arkin, but it seems like my Chinese can't function with any of the old CIC people anymore. Heh.
Strike still on. I can feel myself getting dumber.
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Lol. That's all I am capable of saying, kinda.
Mmmm... going to meet Tim's relatives on Saturday. Get to see their dog, which is apparently an adorable little beagle you must never feed even though you want to give in to its puppy eyes. Lol. Sunday ... Arkin invited me to a gig or something, Tim's coming with me. Myehh. Still need to find directions on how to get there... I'd better call Arkin, but it seems like my Chinese can't function with any of the old CIC people anymore. Heh.
Strike still on. I can feel myself getting dumber.
11:22 PM
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a thousand paper cranes?
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